6 days til NZ

I forgot to mention that my redneck hat wearing in SF was proven to be fabulous by my being leered at by a gang of lesbians in a pick up truck - you can imagine the joy I expressed.

So, Portland. Another overnight bus trip and insight into quite how grumpy old people are in the USA (they seem to think that everyone should pander to their every whim, regardless how insane, and get very shouty if you don't - we encountered 3 on the bus to the Greyhound depot and another 2 in the depot itself), we thought we'd got lucky because there was enough room for Jo & I to get a pair of seats each. Well I was lucky, but at 3am Jo was awoken by being sat on by a gentleman she described as "stinky" and then had to spend the remainder of the trip reminding him to stay in his own seat rather than spreading his legs to a ridiculous degree. But we made it to Portland and were greeted by Patti at the bus station, who promptly whisked us off to her apartment. Portland is lovely and Patti has an apartment that is almost perfectly positioned - right opposite Trader Joe's (my new favourite supermarket), just around the corner from many a funky store, lots of groovy wee bars and restaurants etc etc. And Portland has one of the biggest bookstores in the USA, in fact it may actually be the biggest independent bookstore in the world. Nice.

Tuesday Patti had to work, so Jo & I went and did sensible things like getting haircuts, and then went to watch her play bocce ball (kind of a cross between petanque & lawn bowls) followed by pizza & wine - we even got free bocce ball t-shirts, which are very cool & exclusive. Wednesday we hired a car and headed off into the mountains to visit the Breitenbush spa, taking the scenic route which was beautiful except for the fact that it was ridiculously hot. We got there just in time to dump our stuff in our tent and head into dinner, followed by a soak in the natural hotsprings (great, but a little sulphurous in its aroma) and into the sauna for a very very roasty session. Afterwards we relaxed with complimentary herbal tea and watched shooting stars before crashing out. Jo had decided that she didn't need a sleeping bag as it was so warm, but during the night (as the temperature descended) she proceeded to wrap herself in jumpers, blankets, socks etc until I finally woke up and unzipped my sleeping bag to share with her. The next morning we headed back to the hotsprings only to be informed by a Jennifer Saunders lookeelikee that one of the springs was busy with a 'powerwash'. Being obtuse I assumed that this was some kind of yogic exercise - after all there was some guy playing his crystal bowls outside the dining hall - or perhaps even involved being washed down with a strong jet of water. Of course it actually meant that they were cleaning the spring with a steam cleaner. How dull. The sauna was also being cleaned, so after a soak in the springs we grabbed our packed lunches and went for a short trek in the woods for lunch, then headed back to the car and back to Portland.

Once back in town we showered & changed and headed out to meet Patti's friend Mike at a local martini bar, The Brazen Bean. Nice bar & great for people watching, but they seem to think that lychees are kiwi fruit...and they pronounce lychee as "leechee", which sounds very unappetising. A quick observation before I forget - almost everyone in the USA under the age of 40 has at least one large & complex tattoo, thus making having a large & complex tattoo about as rebellious as having your ears pierced. I know think my small & simplistic tattoo - a moment of 18 year old non-thinking - is quite funky and stylish in comparison. It also proves Ozzy Osbourne's theory that not having a tattoo is more individualistic. After the Brazen Bean we went to Last Thursday, a kind of funky artsy street sale, followed by a trip to Shannon's (Patti bocce ball pal) house for crepes & wine. They were very lovely. Friday was spent mooching about, visiting the park and then stuffiing ourselves with food & wine in readiness for a night at The Egyptian Hall - a local lesbian bar reknowned for its karaoke. I had told Jo I would in fact karaoke, but once I'd heard a couple of the singers (who were stupidly good) I renounced this plan and restricted my activity to being very English when ordering drinks at the bar (I am starting to sound like Emma Thompson) and choosing songs for other people to sing. Alas, we took so long making a decision that by the time Patti, Jo & Jen's request to sing "Take A Chance On Me" came up it was time to leave.

Then it was Saturday & time to leave for Seattle. Portland was fab and seeing Patti was a blast - I'd recommend it to anyone.

The bus trip to Seattle was uneventful. We arrived at our hotel at 2pm to be told our room wasn't ready and could we come back at 3pm (leaving our luggage in their storeroom). So we did...checked in, went to our room and discovered it wasn't clean. Eventually, at about 5pm, we had a clean room and crashed out to watch to crappy tv. Seattle was holding its 'Torchlight Parade' a couple of blocks across, so we went to explore that but after a couple of impressive Chinese & Korean groups it seemed to be mainly marching bands, shoddy majorettes, and pseudo-military marching groups, so I voted for food at a nearby Mexican place, "Mama's". It was pretty good, although the margarita's were not too clever, and we were referred to as 'girls' by our Elvis wannabe waitress (I have got quite used to being a 'lady' and found this a little cheeky). Sunday in Seattle was spent mainly exploring the area around the Space Needle, and mooching about. Plus our first trip to the movies to see "Batman Begins" - quite entertaining. Not really a great deal else to report from Seattle - a nice enough place, but Portland seems to have as much to offer with a lot less pretension.

Monday saw our final bus trip, Seattle to Vancouver. Fairly uneventful despite the man who had a recurrent cough that sounded like a cat hawking up a furball, which I managed to block out with my mp3 player. I discovered that Aimee Mann is playing in Vancouver this Friday night, so Jo & I are off to our first gig in a year. We are staying with Jo's cousin and his family, who are ludricrously nice & fun, so it should be a great way to end our trip...only 6 days to go...

lots of love
S & J
xxxxxx