Well, not many. Depends on hyphen use, I guess.
Today I started full-time as vice-president in charge of glaring at students at the drama school cafe. My glaring skills were significantly enhanced by it being the 5th anniversary of the opening of the cafe and, thus, my being made to wear a cone-shaped hat bearing the legend "Happy Birthday!" (but I did get one of the students to inhale alot of helium from one of the balloons before getting their order).
I managed to burn myself twice on the coffee machine, blast steaming milk all over the place, make everyone listen to The Smiths and forgot the names of almost everyone there. I also repeatedly forget their coffee orders almost instantaneously - go me!
But, as Scarlett O'Hara famously said, tomorrow is another day. Tonight I shall be numbing the pain with a microwave meal & red wine.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Calm deep breaths
In...and out...deep cleansing breaths...
I'm fine. A bit tired and I think drained from the emotional trauma of having to speak publicly in front of almost 100 people, plus sleeping badly because this house is f***ing freezing and NZers don't seem to grasp the concept of central heating, and blah blah blah. Plus, I am cancerian, which is my excuse for being excessively moody at times and lack of sleep makes me evil.
So there's no need to panic. I am not going to die of grumpiness or swoon away in a fit of despair at the state of humanity. Honestly. Though the story on the news last night made me wonder - a bus driver over here has been accused of killing an old guy by bonking him on the head with his wing mirror as he pulled away from a bus stop; apparently the driver recalls hearing a thud, but by the time he stopped he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Question - how far away did he stop? Does his bus have the stopping distance of an oil tanker? Or was the old guy really really small? As long as it's a slow news week I'm sure we'll hear all about it, repeatedly. Although bus drivers over here can be a bit dodgy on occassion (and I can say that safe in the knowledge that some of my best friends are bus drivers - well, one of my best friends).
Aside from that they are FINALLY getting around to showing the final "Prime Suspect" on TV here this weekend and "Fear Factor" is on as well so I can watch dumb asses doing stomach churning things to themselves all for the grand honour of winning $50k. Idiots. This week they seem to be making them eat live spiders, which seems a little unfair on the spider, and almost made me squeak like a total girl when I saw the ad. Hope the spiders bite them. Right in the face. Harsh, I know, but justified.
I'm fine. A bit tired and I think drained from the emotional trauma of having to speak publicly in front of almost 100 people, plus sleeping badly because this house is f***ing freezing and NZers don't seem to grasp the concept of central heating, and blah blah blah. Plus, I am cancerian, which is my excuse for being excessively moody at times and lack of sleep makes me evil.
So there's no need to panic. I am not going to die of grumpiness or swoon away in a fit of despair at the state of humanity. Honestly. Though the story on the news last night made me wonder - a bus driver over here has been accused of killing an old guy by bonking him on the head with his wing mirror as he pulled away from a bus stop; apparently the driver recalls hearing a thud, but by the time he stopped he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Question - how far away did he stop? Does his bus have the stopping distance of an oil tanker? Or was the old guy really really small? As long as it's a slow news week I'm sure we'll hear all about it, repeatedly. Although bus drivers over here can be a bit dodgy on occassion (and I can say that safe in the knowledge that some of my best friends are bus drivers - well, one of my best friends).
Aside from that they are FINALLY getting around to showing the final "Prime Suspect" on TV here this weekend and "Fear Factor" is on as well so I can watch dumb asses doing stomach churning things to themselves all for the grand honour of winning $50k. Idiots. This week they seem to be making them eat live spiders, which seems a little unfair on the spider, and almost made me squeak like a total girl when I saw the ad. Hope the spiders bite them. Right in the face. Harsh, I know, but justified.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Hang on folks, I'm having a bumpy week.
If you like mood swings, then you've come to the right place! This week I seem to be veering between chipper, aggressively pro-active, weepy and borderline maudlin. I think there may be a number of reasons for this, but I think it has mostly been brought on by buying my twin nephews an Evel Kneivel Stunt Bike kit for their 7th birthday. I haven't seen them for a couple of years, due to minor inconveniences like them living in Poland and me living in New Zealand, so I buy them weird stuff off the internet and send the occasional package of random gifts from NZ. But it makes me sad not to be around them more because I think I would be/am a rockin' good aunt. Thus, I am feeling glum.
Jo phoned me and asked how I was and I did the dreaded long pause followed by a snivel. I really freak out if people do that to me, but she has assured me an evening of undivided attention and mollycoddling. I should try and find a really depressing movie to watch and bawl at. Preferably something Disney-esque seeing as cartoons seem to do me in emotionally. Don't even get me started about Bambi's mum.
I am sure there are other reasons too, but I won't bore you with them. Plus, Gert isn't feeling too hot either today - barfed up yesterday and has done nothing but sleep today. We can be pathetic together.
With luck the twin blokes won't launch Evel out of a window (they live in a block of flats) the same way my brother and I did when he had the exact same toy in the 70s. I recall that he landed in the garden pond, which was quite skillful because the pond wasn't very big.
I am now going to make a stupendous effort to cheer my sorry arse up. With internet shopping. Even though I've already pre-emptively spent my museum gig money (on tickets for the All Blacks v.s France in June & sprog twins presents). So, I've just bought myself a Buddha Box - a kind of ambient noise machine, in an attempt to reach a zen state - that I've been contemplating for ages and ages. I'm going to put it on my desk and calm my troubled mind/smooth my furrowed brow. I'm making good use of the NZ$ being all high and mighty, even if it is screwing the economy up. Bloody economy, always getting in the way.
Fingers crossed.
grumpy yet tedious
Jo phoned me and asked how I was and I did the dreaded long pause followed by a snivel. I really freak out if people do that to me, but she has assured me an evening of undivided attention and mollycoddling. I should try and find a really depressing movie to watch and bawl at. Preferably something Disney-esque seeing as cartoons seem to do me in emotionally. Don't even get me started about Bambi's mum.
I am sure there are other reasons too, but I won't bore you with them. Plus, Gert isn't feeling too hot either today - barfed up yesterday and has done nothing but sleep today. We can be pathetic together.
With luck the twin blokes won't launch Evel out of a window (they live in a block of flats) the same way my brother and I did when he had the exact same toy in the 70s. I recall that he landed in the garden pond, which was quite skillful because the pond wasn't very big.
I am now going to make a stupendous effort to cheer my sorry arse up. With internet shopping. Even though I've already pre-emptively spent my museum gig money (on tickets for the All Blacks v.s France in June & sprog twins presents). So, I've just bought myself a Buddha Box - a kind of ambient noise machine, in an attempt to reach a zen state - that I've been contemplating for ages and ages. I'm going to put it on my desk and calm my troubled mind/smooth my furrowed brow. I'm making good use of the NZ$ being all high and mighty, even if it is screwing the economy up. Bloody economy, always getting in the way.
Fingers crossed.
grumpy yet tedious
Monday, April 16, 2007
I'm here now, isn't that what matters?
Apparently 2 weeks of non-blogging is simply unacceptable to some of you. So I'm back and desperately trying to think of witty things to amuse you - if I'm not funny, it's all your own fault for pushing it. Okay? Just wanted to get that clear. Feeling much better now.
So here I am, supposedly doing constructive things such as long overdue volunteer paperwork, some bits and bobs for the Vic University tour (like approving the itinerary) and drafting a paper for a 'lecture/talk' I am giving next month. But I am also multi-tasking by practising walking in my civil union shoes. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of actually meeting me, I am just shy of 5' 10" and I am going to be wearing heels for the civil union. I don't usually/ever wear heels as they tend to make me about 6" and I already have one friend who calls me "Godzilla', but the occassion and outfit demand it, so I have to practise. As my study/office/spare room is upstairs this means I also have to negotiate the stairs of doom every time I want another cup of tea (which is often), so I'm getting quite good. Not yet convinced I'll be able to bust any moves to fine disco tunes on the big day without breaking something, but there's still 3 months + to go. By then, I may be able to Ginger Rogers it with the best of 'em...maybe.
News, news, news - yesterday was the museum tour. After a 2 hour dog walk and only one weak coffee, just to make sure I didn't over-caffeinate and have a minor panic attack during the tour, I arrived sweaty-palmed at the museum armed with a plethora of fascinating yet pointless information about ye anciente egyptianes. Jo, her parents and Lesley, the fabulous masseur, had given me their vote of confidence by coming along and for a while I thought it might just be the 5 of us. Then Tina, my glamorous PA system assistant for the event, went into the exhibition and announced that my tour was about to start. A couple of deep breaths and in I walked - to be faced with a quite large room full of people. All staring at me. I was later informed there were about 95 people, which is almost 100 and just quite ridiculous. So I just started talking and finished about an hour later. No "curse-ed" this time, but they did find out that Tutankhamun had a camp bed. I also did some pointing at things, pacing backwards and forwards, staring at the floor and addressing my commentary to whoever happened to be standing in my sight-line. Jo reckons no one except her would have twigged how nervous I was, but that I did over use the word "important". Well, it is all important.
Apparently I was pretty good and Leslie now wants to come to Egypt with me. I think I wore out any good feelings from Jo by asking how I was approximately every 30 seconds for the hour afterwards, but she did better than I would have by not getting all snarky and sarcastic with me. Plus Jo's folks bought me a dress-up King Tut fridge magnet kit to say "well done" and Elise (the lovely Te Papa employee who got me the gig) let me buy a book on her staff discount. Not sure if the fridge magnets say "well done" or something more sinister.
Oh, and the exhibition shop is selling plastic ancient Egyptian figurine pens of "Nefertitit", or so it says on the packaging. I kind of want the display...might ask Elise if I can have it once the exhibition finishes.
Ugh. Just trying to figure out how the hell I am supposed to change the toner cartridges on our home printer. And I have no arsing clue. Which sucks, because it's taken me approximately 2 months to decide to buy new toner and now I can't even get into the bloody thing. Bollocks. I'm going to have to phone Jo and demonstrate how technologically incompetent I am. Arse.
So that's what I am going to do right now. I'll write again later in the week. Honest.
So here I am, supposedly doing constructive things such as long overdue volunteer paperwork, some bits and bobs for the Vic University tour (like approving the itinerary) and drafting a paper for a 'lecture/talk' I am giving next month. But I am also multi-tasking by practising walking in my civil union shoes. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of actually meeting me, I am just shy of 5' 10" and I am going to be wearing heels for the civil union. I don't usually/ever wear heels as they tend to make me about 6" and I already have one friend who calls me "Godzilla', but the occassion and outfit demand it, so I have to practise. As my study/office/spare room is upstairs this means I also have to negotiate the stairs of doom every time I want another cup of tea (which is often), so I'm getting quite good. Not yet convinced I'll be able to bust any moves to fine disco tunes on the big day without breaking something, but there's still 3 months + to go. By then, I may be able to Ginger Rogers it with the best of 'em...maybe.
News, news, news - yesterday was the museum tour. After a 2 hour dog walk and only one weak coffee, just to make sure I didn't over-caffeinate and have a minor panic attack during the tour, I arrived sweaty-palmed at the museum armed with a plethora of fascinating yet pointless information about ye anciente egyptianes. Jo, her parents and Lesley, the fabulous masseur, had given me their vote of confidence by coming along and for a while I thought it might just be the 5 of us. Then Tina, my glamorous PA system assistant for the event, went into the exhibition and announced that my tour was about to start. A couple of deep breaths and in I walked - to be faced with a quite large room full of people. All staring at me. I was later informed there were about 95 people, which is almost 100 and just quite ridiculous. So I just started talking and finished about an hour later. No "curse-ed" this time, but they did find out that Tutankhamun had a camp bed. I also did some pointing at things, pacing backwards and forwards, staring at the floor and addressing my commentary to whoever happened to be standing in my sight-line. Jo reckons no one except her would have twigged how nervous I was, but that I did over use the word "important". Well, it is all important.
Apparently I was pretty good and Leslie now wants to come to Egypt with me. I think I wore out any good feelings from Jo by asking how I was approximately every 30 seconds for the hour afterwards, but she did better than I would have by not getting all snarky and sarcastic with me. Plus Jo's folks bought me a dress-up King Tut fridge magnet kit to say "well done" and Elise (the lovely Te Papa employee who got me the gig) let me buy a book on her staff discount. Not sure if the fridge magnets say "well done" or something more sinister.
Oh, and the exhibition shop is selling plastic ancient Egyptian figurine pens of "Nefertitit", or so it says on the packaging. I kind of want the display...might ask Elise if I can have it once the exhibition finishes.
Ugh. Just trying to figure out how the hell I am supposed to change the toner cartridges on our home printer. And I have no arsing clue. Which sucks, because it's taken me approximately 2 months to decide to buy new toner and now I can't even get into the bloody thing. Bollocks. I'm going to have to phone Jo and demonstrate how technologically incompetent I am. Arse.
So that's what I am going to do right now. I'll write again later in the week. Honest.
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