I was told this morning about an unfortunate smart arse kid who took it upon themself to commit the (current) ultimate social kid crime. The aforementioned kid read the last page of the new Harry Potter book and then proceeded to tell all the other sprogs at a large family party what happened.
Apparently the kid was shunned after that.
Lesson = it's all very well being a smart arse, but it's usually better to look all high and mighty after the event. Or crib information, but pretend you know nothing and are just disturbingly insightful.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I'm a ninja, not a ging-ah
The "ging-ah" thing has absolutely no relevance to what I am about to say. Thought I'd better clear that up before we got started.
What I am actually referring to is the recent acquisition of various sleek and secret agent-esque black things. It all started after work yesterday when I headed into the hustle and bustle of Wellington to buy myself a new pair of running shoes. You see the weather over here for the last week or so has been so vile that the only way I can bring myself to take Gert out is if I go running - I know she hates it, well finds it tedious, but it is less tedious than staying at home doing sod all (if you are a dog). The vile weather has been taking the form of southerly winds and rain, so I decided to fish out my old trail running shoes, which in turn made me realise how knackered my running shoes were. And thus I headed off to the shops.
Once I got to the fancy running gear shop I informed them, for I know these things, that I overpronate, particularly on my right foot. So they made me whip off my shoes & socks, roll up my trouser legs (drawing to my attention how hairy and in desperate need of a good moisturise my legs are) and run up and down the shop and over some high tech sensor pad thing. It will come as no surprise that this led them to the conclusion that I overpronate, particularly on my right foot. Now I have a super duper printout to prove it. Eventually, after much shoe testing, I, of course, discovered that the most comfortable shoes for my freak feet were the $250 ones. Then I moved on to choosing some fancy running gear, for I had been most recently been seen running in a pair of 3/4 leggings (pale blue), 3/4 shorts (dark blue), a fleece jacket (grey) and a tricolour cagoul (blue/yellow/white). Not a good look.
I think I tried on almost everything in the shop and, despite constant repetition of my allegiance to the colour black to the sales staff, even ventured to test out a rather garish grey/peach Adidas concoction. Eventually I opted for some rather delicious black leggings/tights, black t-shirt and a black vest/waistcoat thingy (all with reflective bits, which stymies the stealth thing but may stop me being mown down by a car). I had a very intense discussion about what kind of jacket would protect my mobile phone should there be a deluge whilst I am out running, but we finally came to the conclusion that I should just put my phone in a zip-lock plastic bag to waterproof it - seems obvious in retrospect, admittedly. I either look like a running ninja or Max Wall. Hmmm...methinks ninja. But the good news is that I spent so much money that they have given me a $50 voucher.
Plus, I found "Stick It" and "Zulu" in a nearby DVD sale for $10 each. That's only £3 in real money.
The mobile phone debate was inspired by my very recent (i.e. today) acquisition of a very lovely black slidey-open yes I am a rock star/secret agent phone. I have it next to me now, so I can gaze upon its beauty.
What I am actually referring to is the recent acquisition of various sleek and secret agent-esque black things. It all started after work yesterday when I headed into the hustle and bustle of Wellington to buy myself a new pair of running shoes. You see the weather over here for the last week or so has been so vile that the only way I can bring myself to take Gert out is if I go running - I know she hates it, well finds it tedious, but it is less tedious than staying at home doing sod all (if you are a dog). The vile weather has been taking the form of southerly winds and rain, so I decided to fish out my old trail running shoes, which in turn made me realise how knackered my running shoes were. And thus I headed off to the shops.
Once I got to the fancy running gear shop I informed them, for I know these things, that I overpronate, particularly on my right foot. So they made me whip off my shoes & socks, roll up my trouser legs (drawing to my attention how hairy and in desperate need of a good moisturise my legs are) and run up and down the shop and over some high tech sensor pad thing. It will come as no surprise that this led them to the conclusion that I overpronate, particularly on my right foot. Now I have a super duper printout to prove it. Eventually, after much shoe testing, I, of course, discovered that the most comfortable shoes for my freak feet were the $250 ones. Then I moved on to choosing some fancy running gear, for I had been most recently been seen running in a pair of 3/4 leggings (pale blue), 3/4 shorts (dark blue), a fleece jacket (grey) and a tricolour cagoul (blue/yellow/white). Not a good look.
I think I tried on almost everything in the shop and, despite constant repetition of my allegiance to the colour black to the sales staff, even ventured to test out a rather garish grey/peach Adidas concoction. Eventually I opted for some rather delicious black leggings/tights, black t-shirt and a black vest/waistcoat thingy (all with reflective bits, which stymies the stealth thing but may stop me being mown down by a car). I had a very intense discussion about what kind of jacket would protect my mobile phone should there be a deluge whilst I am out running, but we finally came to the conclusion that I should just put my phone in a zip-lock plastic bag to waterproof it - seems obvious in retrospect, admittedly. I either look like a running ninja or Max Wall. Hmmm...methinks ninja. But the good news is that I spent so much money that they have given me a $50 voucher.
Plus, I found "Stick It" and "Zulu" in a nearby DVD sale for $10 each. That's only £3 in real money.
The mobile phone debate was inspired by my very recent (i.e. today) acquisition of a very lovely black slidey-open yes I am a rock star/secret agent phone. I have it next to me now, so I can gaze upon its beauty.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Happy birthday to me.
'Tis the season to be jolly, mainly because it is July and that means it is also my birthday. Actually, it was my birthday at the beginning of the week, but I have been dragging it out and wringing out every last drop of self-indulgence. If it is any consolation to you who are not celebrating their birthday along with me, I appear to be getting to an age where any conspicuous high jinks results in me feeling feeble and knackered for days. This is no exaggeration.
Last Saturday (the 7th) I held a birthday knees up, whereupon I proceeded to forget two of the most fundamental and fairly basic rules of alcohol consumption. 1 - do not decide that, after an evening of quaffing white wine, there is no harm in changing to red. 2 - do not do this on an empty stomach. The results are not pretty, but luckily I was too smashed to notice too much (Jo dealt with the messy parts & and the pathetic grovelling from me afterwards). Suffice to say the next day was spent prone on the sofa watching The Food Network, as it was the cloest I could bring myself to eating for several hours.
Even now, over a week later, alcohol holds little appeal. Perhaps I reached my karmic booze limit? Could I have met my quota for wine consumpton during this lifespan? Or have I just completely knackered my throat? Such mysteries...
A rather more subdued luncheon was held yesterday for some friends who were, for varying reasons (some more glamorous than others), unable to share in the previous weekend's embarassments. It was significantly more subdued by a guest list that combined factors such as pregnancy, accidental hangovers and jet lag, and if you're not yet convinced of its lack of rabid excitement, we managed a full game of Trivial Pursuit. I did not win, but I did correct the grammatical errors on the question cards because I am a pedantic pompous ass. Though I think I did win the unofficial "Who can eat the most?" competition, good for me.
On the birthday gift front I got some corkers. I had almost forgotten how good 'Sign O' The Times' was, but the double CD is reminding me of the days when Prince was just fabulous (he should never have got rid of Wendy & Lisa, foolish foolish man), I also have a lot of money to spend on clothes, a quite endearing Ugly Dog doll, a celebrity scandal pop-up book and Herodotus' Histories, which are providing me with slightly disturbing insight into the ancient Greek mindset. Jo also got me a couple of laser pointers, allegedly to indicate points of interest during my evening classes/Egypt tour, but I am sure I can also find a use for them on particularly provocative/aggravating "students". I also opened a couple of Civil Union gifts, because they arrived on my birthday and I decided it was thus acceptable, and have a gorgeous new clock (thanks Jez & Chris) and the 1st season of Cagney & Lacey on DVD. In keeping with my new found old fogey-ness, I caught myself admiring one of Mary Beth's cardigans during an episode the other night, but in my defence it was freezing and the cardigan was retro-cool (from certain angles).
For no apparent reason my keyboard keeps trying to make everything UPPER CASE, which is just annoying.
So the weeks ahead. Less than two weeks until civilisation now. I would wax lyrical, but frankly I am still slightly faded from last week. I did have a moment whilst getting my haircut last week when I suddenly thought to myself "this is the last haircut I'll have before I am married", and then I REALISEd (see?!?!) that this made no difference to either my life, my upcoming civil union (except that my hair will be in reasonable condition) or my hair cut. Just one more factor in my descent into adulthood: driver's licence, dog, mortgage, decent hair cut, glasses that actually suit me, ability to wear/walk in heels, "marriage", grey/distinguished hair. Luckily I have managed to retain my juvenile sense of humour, reliance on sarcasm and unfounded judgmentalism. Go me!
Last Saturday (the 7th) I held a birthday knees up, whereupon I proceeded to forget two of the most fundamental and fairly basic rules of alcohol consumption. 1 - do not decide that, after an evening of quaffing white wine, there is no harm in changing to red. 2 - do not do this on an empty stomach. The results are not pretty, but luckily I was too smashed to notice too much (Jo dealt with the messy parts & and the pathetic grovelling from me afterwards). Suffice to say the next day was spent prone on the sofa watching The Food Network, as it was the cloest I could bring myself to eating for several hours.
Even now, over a week later, alcohol holds little appeal. Perhaps I reached my karmic booze limit? Could I have met my quota for wine consumpton during this lifespan? Or have I just completely knackered my throat? Such mysteries...
A rather more subdued luncheon was held yesterday for some friends who were, for varying reasons (some more glamorous than others), unable to share in the previous weekend's embarassments. It was significantly more subdued by a guest list that combined factors such as pregnancy, accidental hangovers and jet lag, and if you're not yet convinced of its lack of rabid excitement, we managed a full game of Trivial Pursuit. I did not win, but I did correct the grammatical errors on the question cards because I am a pedantic pompous ass. Though I think I did win the unofficial "Who can eat the most?" competition, good for me.
On the birthday gift front I got some corkers. I had almost forgotten how good 'Sign O' The Times' was, but the double CD is reminding me of the days when Prince was just fabulous (he should never have got rid of Wendy & Lisa, foolish foolish man), I also have a lot of money to spend on clothes, a quite endearing Ugly Dog doll, a celebrity scandal pop-up book and Herodotus' Histories, which are providing me with slightly disturbing insight into the ancient Greek mindset. Jo also got me a couple of laser pointers, allegedly to indicate points of interest during my evening classes/Egypt tour, but I am sure I can also find a use for them on particularly provocative/aggravating "students". I also opened a couple of Civil Union gifts, because they arrived on my birthday and I decided it was thus acceptable, and have a gorgeous new clock (thanks Jez & Chris) and the 1st season of Cagney & Lacey on DVD. In keeping with my new found old fogey-ness, I caught myself admiring one of Mary Beth's cardigans during an episode the other night, but in my defence it was freezing and the cardigan was retro-cool (from certain angles).
For no apparent reason my keyboard keeps trying to make everything UPPER CASE, which is just annoying.
So the weeks ahead. Less than two weeks until civilisation now. I would wax lyrical, but frankly I am still slightly faded from last week. I did have a moment whilst getting my haircut last week when I suddenly thought to myself "this is the last haircut I'll have before I am married", and then I REALISEd (see?!?!) that this made no difference to either my life, my upcoming civil union (except that my hair will be in reasonable condition) or my hair cut. Just one more factor in my descent into adulthood: driver's licence, dog, mortgage, decent hair cut, glasses that actually suit me, ability to wear/walk in heels, "marriage", grey/distinguished hair. Luckily I have managed to retain my juvenile sense of humour, reliance on sarcasm and unfounded judgmentalism. Go me!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
minutiae
It's still reasonably chilly in this room. I am just about to go to the supermarket to buy items such as washing powder. For dinner I'm thinking of making pasta with pork, lemon and parmesan.
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