Two days of first aid training completed. Should you fall from a great height, collapse, crash your car, choke etc etc etc in my general vicinity I am now qualified to leap to your assistance and announce myself with a flourish.
I was a little disappointed that we didn't get to practise emergency tracheotomy or run along along a corridor with a prone victim on a trolley, but I was tested with the most magnificent scenario - a man carrying a heavy box has fallen down the stairs, possible broken pelvis, severe carpet burn on thigh, and has now been jumped on by a nosy cat causing him to go into anaphylaxis. You will be relieved to hear that he lived.
Quite a bizarre group too. Most interesting/entertaining was Andrey the Russian IT guy (well Kurgistan, if we're being pernickity), who looked disturbingly like David Walliams and said things like "When I was child I was digging for worms and I cut hand on broken glass - my father cleaned with vodka; this good?". At one point I was waiting for Jeremy Beadle to leap out, but then I remembered he was dead. So I assumed Jimmy Carr would be out there somewhere. He also started quite a fierce debate about how to treat poisoning as he was having none of the new fangled idea that making the poisonee throw up was daft and might kill them. Choking on vomit obviously not commonplace in Kurgistan.
And did you know they don't recommend using antiseptic on cuts these days; just a good rinse with clean water.
So...January 2010 Egypt I'll be ready for them. Fling yourselves off as many olde monumentes as you will, I will wrench you into the recovery position and introduce myself whether you want to or not.
In other news, the midwife (just typed midwaif...the Kate Moss of prenantal care) thinks Wolfie might be a couple of days early. Will let you know.
I'm off to define the role of royal women in 18th dynasty Egypt. Adios!
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