Oh, and...

In case you thinking "Oh for fack's sake, stop bloody whinging you middle class git", I was brought back to reality whilst out ensuring Gert was getting her morning exercise (Sorry Cesar, she only got 30 mins tennis ball madness because it is BLOODY freezing today).

Gert did a stonking steaming and squishy poo; I had no poo bags; I found "emergency" poo bag in my own bag; I scooped up poo like a responsible dog owner.

Emergency poo bag had massive split in bottom and most of the triple-S poo went straight into my grabbing hand.