Domestic goddess!

Over the last couple of weeks I have become somewhat fixated on food.

Those of you who know me know that there is absolutely nothing unusual about this. I happily confess that I am one of those people who wakes up in the morning and starts wondering what to have for dinner. Since our foray into parenthood and the requisite level of organisation (ie that there are only so many times you can greet your spouse with a scowl and the words "we're having takeaway for dinner an YOU'RE collecting it") I have become quite adept at planning a menu or two. Actually what I have taken to doing is being one of those people that eats the same thing in rotation. Like an old person.

So we have a fairly regular weekly diet which is based around the nutritional fundamentals of curry, pizza and pasta. Appealing, no?

It started with America's Next Top Model. Watching vacuous skinny people be vacuous and skinny drove us to eating pizza in large quantities, hence Friday became "pizza night". Originally this meant buying pre-made pizza bases and adding my own toppings. Gradually this morphed into pre-made pizza bases with home-made pizza sauce and toppings. Now it has gone one stage further. Oh yes siree!

Now I am making my own pizza dough/bases.

That sounds truly Martha Stewart-esque, doesn't it? Before you start panicking and visualising me grinning slightly maniacally whilst wrestling home decor and brandishing a mondo huge kitchen knife, I am simply bunging all the ingredients into a bread machine and selecting the "dough" setting. Oh and adding some extra "flair" like chili, or sun-dried tomato, pesto, fresh herbs etc etc.

And it is astonishing. Tonight's pizza was a tomato relish/herb base with mushroom, red pepper, feta, bacon and smoked paprika. Bloody marvellous.

Saints preserve us, but I am planning to start a mini herb/veg garden come Spring and it's going to get out of hand.

This is what happens when you stay at home looking after kidlets. Be warned.

Oh and that photo is not my pizza. In case you were wondering.

The rant I had planned

was to consider the American studio remakes of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo", "Wings of Desire", "The Vanishing", "Dark Water", "La Femme Nikita" and "The Return of Martin Guerre" amongst others.

I may come back to it. Or I may not.

I may simply rant on and on about something else entirely. Who knows?

Stupid American Remakes

I am planning to rant on about the dubious propensity of the Hollywood studios to remake confusing foreign films, ie films that require the viewer to read subtitles and often to follow a plot, into bog awful miscast "American" movies with happy endings. However, I have been slightly distracted by Gert's rear right foot.

Now, the sharp-eyed amongst you will note the jaunty angle of one of her claws. It would appear that during her vigorous galavanting around Newtown Park in hot pursuit of tennis balls she managed to puncture her foot. Being a hard-ass she gave no indication of any such injury or incident at the time, nor when she scampered back into the car, not even when she got home and ate a hearty breakfast. It was at lunchtime when she staggered/hobbled out of her bed, left a trail of bloody pawprints in the hallway and stood on 3 legs looking pathetic. On close inspection a distinct hole was espied, still oozing blood, and so off to the vet's we went. The jaunty angle caused by swelling between paw pads.

Now she has 5 days' worth of antibiotics and is housebound for 3 days (until the hole heals up) with strict orders that gallavanting shall be avoided. Should just about make her demented. So on Friday I expect to have my arms wrenched out of their sockets by a dog desperate to RUN!!!

Oh, and...

In case you thinking "Oh for fack's sake, stop bloody whinging you middle class git", I was brought back to reality whilst out ensuring Gert was getting her morning exercise (Sorry Cesar, she only got 30 mins tennis ball madness because it is BLOODY freezing today).

Gert did a stonking steaming and squishy poo; I had no poo bags; I found "emergency" poo bag in my own bag; I scooped up poo like a responsible dog owner.

Emergency poo bag had massive split in bottom and most of the triple-S poo went straight into my grabbing hand.

Start the week!

This morning started at around 2.30am for me.

I woke up with a cough and a splutter, coughed a bit more, fetched a glass of water, coughed a bit more and then decided to transfer myself to the living room sofa so Jo could get a decent night's sleep before a workplace Monday morning. Unfortunately I didn't go back to sleep which means I am already 8 hours into my day and it's only 10.45am.

However, time was not a-wasting. The last few weeks have been a bit dodgy for me as I've found the slow, relentless grind of mothering a toddler is at times immensely boring. So I decided to fall back on my usual research resource and surf the net to find out if anyone had any top tips. Hooray! There are loads! Exercise, utilise family for babysitting, part-time work, don't forget your relationship.

Boo! I'm already doing all of them!

So what's the problem? The problem (I think) is that my tiny brain works like this -

"okay, I'm awake, time to feed/dress/entertain boy"

2 mornings a week = "Boy is creche, must do work, must do work, must do work; must exercise dog first...that dog whisperer bloke says dogs need 1 hour of vigorous exercise each morning. Then must do work!"

"Must collect boy from creche, feed him and get him into bed for nap" OR "Must take boy to playgroup/park/zoo/beach, feed him etc" OR "Must go to supermarket,etc etc"

"Bugger, need to do washing/shopping/empty dishwasher, then must do work whilst boy naps"

"Chores done, now to work....Sod that I'm going to read a book/surf net"

"Oh shite...I just spent whole of boy's nap NOT doing work, now I feel like a slacker/lazy git"

"Boy awake, must dress and give bottle, then we'll do something that won't cause him to go nuts"

2 afternoons a week = "Must get boy ready for nanna/dads, then must do work - only have a couple of hours"

"5.15pm - Jo home from work - must take dog out again and then sort out dinner, perhaps do some work afterwards?"

"Dog walked, dinner made, 7pm and I am knackered...and I have achieved sod all today - tomorrow will do better"

1 evening a week = "5.30pm - time to go and teach class until 8.15pm"

Weekends = MUST DO FAMILY STUFF AND BE DOMESTIC GODDESS!

I think I am doing this wrong. Perhaps a change in attitude is needed?